Relationships

A remarkable element in the practice of the processes is the healing of relationships.
There are a number of different varieties of relationships. Amongst others, there are the relationships with our body and those with our partners, children, relatives, friends, work, animals – basically with everything.
When we liberate ourselves, we simultaneously liberate those with whom we uphold a relationship.
We also liberate our own body from expressing the feelings that disturb us.
At a first glance, this might appear impossible, yet when you start actively practicing, you will notice a growing disinterest in the aspects of ‘how’ and ‘why’. You will rather be impressed by the wholly real effects.

An interesting relationship is the one with your own body and mind.
What do you think of your own body and mind? What do you expect of them?
And what do you provide in return?
What do you feel when your body or mind do not co-operate?
And what opportunities did you give your body and/or mind regarding co-operation and optimal functioning?
Are you surprised to find your mind or body collapsing after years of bodily or mental abuse such as for example eating too much or too little, or consuming tobacco excessively, or irregular amounts of sleep or work?
We often consider experiences of abuse by other parties.
But how do we abuse ourselves?
Perfectionism, addictions, disliking your own body, fear of failing, depressions, anger and fear, hating yourself, shame, self-critique and a negative self-image are examples of such highly destructive Obstacles.
How can we expect others to love us, to find us beautiful, to find us good or to respect us if we don’t exhibit such feelings towards ourselves?
Intimacy with ourselves, including respect, faith, love and gratefulness for ourselves provides for profound bodily and mental tranquillity, peace and freedom.

An important relation is the one with your partner.
There is no better mirror to reflect yourself than the partner that can instantly recall every single one of your personality traits.
This means that your partner provides you with both a magnificent means to grow, and a threat.
In an intimate relationship, Obstacles become clearly visible or ‘activated’. In such a relationship we literally and figuratively expose ourselves. We open up and so become vulnerable – in such a state we can easily be targeted.
Our desires and expectations have to be satisfied by our partner. We can for example yearn for attention or security. If we do not receive this, we experience feelings of anger or sadness.
Old wounds can easily be torn open once again. A previous rejection or repressed shame can become activated and turn into enormous burdens by a mere tiny event, causing problems within the relationship.
Additionally, we activate mechanisms to protect our fragile egos such as jealousy, control and fear.
This is why you can learn a lot about your Obstacles while in a relationship.
Ususally we tend to project our Obstacles onto our surroundings and this becomes clearly visible in a relationship.
We often feel attracted by characteristics that a partner has which we have repressed ourselves. Once we are in a relationship, such characteristics can be the cause of irritation because they continuously confront us with our own Obstacles.
Vice versa, this means the same goes for our partner.
If we would be able to heal these Obstacles, we are no longer vulnerable and dependent on our partner, meaning that we can be free in the relationship and give and receive without setting conditions.
When we trust each other, feel safe in each other’s presence and respect each other’s Obstacles, an intimate relationship can provide the strongest basis for helping one another.
Instead of a prolonged relationship based on fears, power-play and conditioned behaviour, real intimacy will surface. Intimacy with yourself, for you will be able to present your true self rather than a mask, and intimacy with your partner because you will be able to truly fuse together.

Relations with relatives and others are similar.
In such relationships, Obstacles also become aggravated and activated. The main difference is that the other is often not in a position to help you heal your Obstacles.
Ususally, all they do is make it worse.
Fear, anger, jealousy, rejection, dependence and abuse are examples of Obstacles that can flourish there.
Often we simultaneously develop a form of behaviour, a tactic, that only increases the conflict or gap between each other. If this tactic fails, we usually do not change it. Rather, we try to intensify our initial strategy. In the end, this costs us so much energy that we become exhausted from it.
When we realize that we are part of the problem and that we consequently introduce our own Obstacles to it, then also opportunity for a different approach arises.
When we heal our Obstacles they can no longer be touched by what comes by.
If you heal the Obstacle associated with ‘jealousy’ then you will find that the behaviour of the other can no longer induce jealousy from you, because there is no more ‘jealousy’ to grab hold of.
For instance, if someone pesters you, then that person is your Obstacle. Not the person directly, but the way you deal with him and the way you feel about the situation.
In healing the Obstacle associated with that person, you no longer become dependent on him or her – there is no more associated effect.
This already will change the relationship you have with that person. Besides this, the positives forces that are released within you will also cause a more positivistic approach towards the other.
Your own harmony will bring harmony to the relationship and hence harmony to the person with whom you have a problem.

In this way, problems in relationships with others, with yourself and with your body in fact become challenges and opportunities to heal and to grow.
In that fashion, you free yourself and everything around you from suffering.
That allows for freedom, peace and tranquillity.

Give your friends and foes a GREAT EMBRACE.